Three Star Reads | Discussion (Bibliothon day 4)

It's day four of the bibiliothon and today's prompt? Challenge? is to talk about book(s) you've rated three or less stars. This challenge is being hosted by burstingwithbooks. I use to be, and still kind of am, pretty lenient in my ratings towards most books. Unless it has something that really annoys me or rubs be the wrong way.

I'm going to mention one in particular - Zom-B by Darren Shan I rated one star. Now, it was so long ago that I don't quite remember the scene but I do remember the why. I mean, first of all, it was just a meh book to begin with, but then it got racist and that's fucked up. Yes, they're teenagers, blah, blah - whatever, I wasn't a racist shithead when I was a teenager. If you have racist characters it needs to be corrected/commented on by the end of the book - someone calling them out, come on.

Wow, it's been over three years and I'm still full of salt about that one, but I mean - racist bullshit, I will always be salty over. (disclaimer, I guess, but I'm white. So if you feel differently, let me know).

Examples of more one (1) star reads (I don't have a lot): The Girl in the Park, Twilight series, Opal Fire

Two stars are a low rating for me, but they're not I hated it. And, also, normally I only rate books I got at least 50% into it. Though, if I DNF a book I normally didn't really hold on that long. And I have a surprising amount of two star reads, but a book has to make me angry at how bad it is to get a 1 star.

Examples of two (2) star reads: Heir of Fire, Cold Kiss, Girl with Guitar, 172 Hours on the Moon, Monument 14, Dead Ever After, 

Overall, though, a three stars isn't really a low rating for me. It can be, if it's a book I was really hyped for and it fell flat. However, romances get a three from me a lot and I'm not sure why, but I definitely think of it as just "i liked it." It was good, but there wasn't anything that made me go: I loved that part, it was just a good, solid book.

For example, I gave two of the Vampire Academy books I've read three stars but - I enjoyed them, and I am planning on continuing with the series. I think that's why half stars and such can come in so handy when rating something, but since I mostly use goodreads I guess it doesn't matter (I do normally put half stars in my review, though, if I do them. And they're also in my spreadsheet. Yes, I keep track of what I've read in a spreadsheet).

Examples of three (3) star reads: Wife by Wednesday, If it Ain't Love, All Our Yesterdays, Lord of Shadows, The Screaming Staircase

I'm not going to list more because I have a lot of three stars - and my rating system has gotten more strict as I've read more things. I would of never rated Lord of Shadows three stars even just last year, probably, I would of felt guilty about it since I loved Lady Midnight and her other books (also didn't want the haters clawing at my throat). But now - meh. And, actually, going through those ratings I'd change some - bump them down, mostly, just because I really feel meh about the book in general.

I don't think this is exactly what the challenge/prompt was suppose to be but it's what I thought of for it. And I don't think I've ever really talked about how I rate books, mostly because at the beginning I was still kind of new to it all.

How do you rate books? Is three a bad rating from you? If you did this same challenge, let me know so I can see how you did it.

Happy readathoning!

Why Can't I Read? | Discussion Post

This might seem like a really strange title to a discussion post, and I guess it kind of is a strange title, but it's how I've been referring to this for weeks. At the beginning, I was just like - whatever, I've been reading non-stop for like a year, I can take a break. And now, over a month later, and fighting my way back to into reading - I'm just kind of... gah. Like an angry, annoyed - gah is how I'm feelings.

You've probably all noticed how I haven't been here. A lack of reading always, for me, leads to a lack of blogging as I feel like I don't have anything to talk about. Which isn't true, I could talk about other things I'm doing, but I just haven't figured out how to integrate more then just books into this blog (though, I think the other stuff section on my weekly wrap ups is probably helping).

And the weirdest thing about this thing is that - I am reading. I have read so much fan fiction that it might actually be a problem now. I'm in a weird space of wanting to do these things and not wanting to get off the computer, or not having the motivation to read, the attention span. Which obviously I have because have I mentioned - so much fan fiction. (Hey, if you need any recs for Steve/Bucky MCU fan fiction - I've got your back, friend).

Anyway - so I haven't been reading books. I've been trying, I've been pushing myself to try. And I have read some. I think I've read three books since this reading slump started - a ton of graphic novels and single issues, but those are so quick - and it might be starting to drive me crazy. Last year I fully realized how much better reading made me feel, it felt like it balanced me out, made me relax more. I'd always used reading as a kind of escape, but it became way more then that last year, so much more important to me.

And I'm glad it did, I'm so glad I fall I've fallen into the whole thing, but it's hard when I'm not reading. And I want to read, I've got books everywhere (no, really, this isn't a lie. If I ever disappear from the internet, I'm buried under a book avalanche). And it's stressful, yeah, but I could be reading if I just - just did it. Just sat down and read.

Now this next part might sound weird, but I'm curious if anyone ever gets like this. So the main reason I stall out on series is because I'm scared to see where that character goes next, like honestly scared. This is actually why I stall out on most things, if I do. I just am scared about what's going to happen next, where they're going next, and just... can't. It's such a weird problem to have, because I want to read, but I don't? But I do? But - feelings. Yeah, that's what it is.

So, friends, now I'm curious, of course. How is your reading going in general? And how is it going in general? Also - am i completely crazy? Do you ever stall out on things because of that? When was the last time you just couldn't read?

TBR Pile | Purging shelves (???) (2)

This is a post I started one night when I couldn't sleep, after seeing the tenth video about #0by16 and just being baffled at the idea. Saying that - I don't mean any harm. You can do whatever you want to do. And if you can do that - I am amazed by you and bow down to your better self control (way better then mine, you freaking go). But these are my thoughts on the manner, how I feel like I can't do that. However - it's also a discussion post, so I want to hear from you guys about what you think, if your opinion is different or similar. And I hope no one takes offense from this, because that's now how I mean it. It's more a meandering musing, that I actually had no idea what the outcome of it would be.

There's this strange thing that seems to be very prevalent in the Booktube community specifically (at least that's where I've seen it most), which I can understand to an extent, but don't understand fully. And it's trying to get your TBR shelf to 0. Maybe because it's literally impossible for me, but it just seems so... ridiculous? I don't mean it in any negative way towards anyone, if you can do that then I bow down to your restraint/abilities. I also might be asking you questions with suspicious eyes, but don't worry about it, I totally believe you're human.

I just don't think it's possible for me, maybe a better word is realistic. One: there are always new books coming out I'm going to want to read. Two: there will be always be books that've come out year ago I'm going to want to read. Three: sometimes I feel like I have nothing I want to read, with hundreds of unread books, I don't know what I'd do with less then 50 or 100.

Now this is definitely one of those personal preference things. At least I think so. And I bow down to anyone who can actually get their TBR to zero. But, personally, I'd feel like I was lying to myself.

I did recently, while reorganizing and logging books, pull a bunch off my shelves and put them into the: getting rid of pile. And there are always a few more I'm considering doing the same thing. However - there are a bunch I'm not doing that with and probably won't. I don't loose interest in books that easily, even if it isn't at the forefront. I keep a book if I think about reading it / the plot and get excited all over again. And I get excited about a lot of books.

This also might be a problem for me because I read everything - all the genres possible. New genre? Give me. I love books and I love trying new ones, dipping my toe into new subgenres or genres (though, I think I've tried all the main genres by now?). It's fun and I want to keep reading everything, not sticking to one genre (though I am known to go on genre binges, those still vary wildly in that, too).

Right now, there are 1,723 books on my "to read" shelf on Goodreads. I don't own all of those, mostly because some are literally impossible to own and I do have some restraint (ha. This is me lying to myself). But I think I feel comfortable saying I own a majority of them, more then 75% maybe. And that's not to mention the books I own that I've already read. Or the books I haven't read that aren't physical - ebook or audiobook, those are still TBR books. But here - I'm mostly talking about physical TBR.

It's a lot of books, almost a never-ending pile - but if I got rid of books I still really wanted to read then what would be point? I'd just have more trouble reading it, not owning it, or I'd have to just buy it again when I wanted to read it. Which sounds ridiculous to me.

However - seeing all this stuff about people going "I have so many books on my to read shelf - it's at like eighty five." My immediately reaction is - that's good, that's really good. I have hundreds of unread books, high hundreds. And, yes, even 85 take up a lot of space, and I totally understand that (it's all in relation to you. And I've kind of officially run out of space so I get it), but the thing is... it makes me feel guilty. Not owning the unread books, seeing people able to have such small TBR piles (physical ones). Which is ridiculous, because I've accepted it's always going to be out of control, but it still makes me feel bad, even when worded kindly.

I'm not going to apologize, though, for owning so many books I haven't read yet. They're just full of stories I'll get to experience. And, yes, I might be planning on picking through them again soon and stacking a bunch to the side to get ride of (somehow. There's a lot ARCs from 2012/2013 I'd like to get rid of as well), but I'm sick of feeling guilty for not being able to cull/purge my physical TBR pile.

It would feel like a lie, though, the biggest lie ever - if I have, like, a hundred books. Because I don't think I'd have the same sense of urgency I do now, to try and read these books, or the same sense of love of reading as I do being surrounded by books day to day. And, yes, sometimes the urgency is a problem, when I want to not stress about finishing a book, but most of the time it's just good. At least I think so.

Saying all this, I want to say it again - do whatever you want, I'm sorry if I've offended you or something else. I don't mean any harm, do whatever you want, it's not hurting anyone. But I'm curious on your perspective, especially if it's different.

So that brings me to the end. How do you deal with all the books you want to read? Physical, digital, whichever. And how many physical unread books do you have? Don't feel embarrassed whether the number is ten or over a thousand, no judgement here.

TBR Pile | Shame? (1)

Pile? More like mountain. I own a lot, lot of books that I haven't read. I stress shop and when I do I mostly stress buy books. (Amazon Prime makes it so easy, and sometimes the books are so cheap, and they're so pretty in a book store...)

Now when I say a lot, I mean way more then you're probably thinking. 2014 started with me wanting to buy less books, which is all find and dandy on paper, but hard to do when I was reading so much. I read over 270 books last year, and not to buy books just felt very strange to me. So this year is a kind reward system, for every how many books, I get to buy one.

I think this will work pretty good unless I go into a bookstore (sorry, Barnes and Noble, it's not you, it's me), because then I'll just start picking things up.

And, honestly, I don't see a problem with my multiple towering stacks of books that won't fit on my already overflowing shelves. Except for the fact that I've kind of run out of space to put books. Have mostly run out space, in all honesty. So trying to buy less, is probably a very good idea. And I know some people feel guilty with too many unread books on their shelves, and I try not to because guilty about books isn't a helpful emotion, but I do frequently feel overwhelmed. There's so many things I want to read, there's no way I can read them all in my lifetime, there's just not enough time.

I started this post a while ago and then there was a video I saw that reminded me of it again (BookRiot's How To Bust TBR Guilt video) and it definitely made me feel better. I've always gone back and forth, feeling immediately guilty whenever I saw a post or a video about someone having so few books, but I think I've reached the point where I'm past that (and have written a whole post based on that thought, that I'm going to post soon).

And the reason I wanted to post this, because I'm curious. If you're reading this, I'm sure you're a reader, and I'm wondering your thoughts. Do you feel TBR shame/guilt? Or do you have only... ten, eighty, two hundred books and are trying to get it lower? Or have you, also, given up on feeling guilt about something you shouldn't feel guilt about?

(I want to add again, a little disclaimer. That I don't mean any harm for this, I don't mean to push anything onto you, you can do whatever you want).

Spoken Word & Slam Poetry | How I Found it (+ some recommendations)

I, randomly, find myself on YouTube going through way too many spoken word, and slam, poems. And I really love both, in all honestly. I didn't really realize how much I loved poetry until very recently, the last few months, and I honestly think spoken poetry is my favorite. Even if I'm reading a collection, or just a poem, I have to read it out loud. I can't just - read it in my head, it doesn't feel quite right.

And I'm not sure what I wanted to say about this, I'm just kind of winging this post, but I wanted to talk about it. And wanted to see if anyone had any recommendations. There's so much out there, and I've found places to start, but I have no idea where to go from here. Or if other people share my love / slight obsession.

And I also wanted to share what I'd found, because maybe you hadn't discovered it and are going to end up loving them. Poetry is definitely not normally light, at least I haven't found any, but some of it is just incredible and it's so good.

So I'm going to just talk about some of my favorites - Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye, first off, who I ran across completely by accident. And, funnily enough, I found their poem together, first - An Origin Story. I'd highly suggest listening to it, it's about friends, best friends, and it's... surprising how much I understand finding weird coincidences. And it's one of my favorites, because it's so much fun. I'm going to link everything down below that I can.

I feel like I'm just getting into it and the lines feel blurry, for me, on the line between slam poetry and just spoken word poetry, but I'm throwing a bunch of links to poems below that I love. There's another by both Sarah and Phil, and then a bunch of Sarah's. Why only hers? Because I keep listening to them over and over, as soon as I can stop listening to all of these over and over, I'll move onto finding more.

The most important of the ones below... is kind of hard to say, they're all important. However - Transcript of Civil Rights is super important and explains something that's so complicated, in four minutes. These two girls are kick-ass. I actually found this through tumblr, completely on accident, and it made me a cry the first time through (a lot of these did).

They're all important, I just kind of want to end it here so you can go and watch all of those.

But there's one more thing I want to talk about - the poems I never thought of as spoken word poetry, that I just thought of as a poem being read out loud. And - I might have one of these almost memorized. You guys might have heard of the lovely, talented Neil Gaiman. I had a lot of trouble finding good recordings of both, but - The Day the Saucers Came. However - I can't find a good recording online of The Faery Reel, which is my favorite and I love it so much. (It's on the audiobook of his collection called Fragile Things, which I highly recommend all around). I'm so angry I can't find a good one - there are videos of other people reading it, or some awful live recordings of Neil. Anyway - I love that poem, just save up an audible credit and splurge. I mean, it's Gaiman, right? (Dammit. I even looked for sound bites, I'm so sorry I can't find it. It's in plain text here, but it's not quite as lovely. He even says himself it demands to be read aloud).

Finally, before you go and listen to all of those, I want to know if you enjoy poetry (of any kind)? Have you tried it since the weird forced dissection that happened in school? If you have tried it - what did you think of it? Do you have any favorites? (Spoken, slam, just words on a page, well screen, I'd love to read/hear any of it).

(Also, I want to add this is just a small tip of the iceberg, kind of thing. I really wanted to write this post before I got further into spoken word and/or slam. So I'm probably missing a lot of good stuff, but all I've found as been good so far).

Some Favorites: (from above and more) (warning: feeling and tears, grab some tissues)
Sarah Kay's and Phil Kaye's: "An Origin Story" "When Love Arrives"
Sarah Kay: Mrs. Ribeiro + Ted Talk (If I had a daughter / B is first) + Postcards + Speaker's Spotlight video
Shanita Jackson and Dakota Oder poem's Transcript of Civil Rights
"Bitch" Slam Poem
Ethan Smith's "A Letter to the Girl I Use to Be"
Aaron Burstein's "Social Anxiety at 130bpm"
Sierra DeMulder's "The Tampon Poem" (girls, it's funny but also not)
Dominique Christina's "The Period Poem"
Lily Myers, Zach Goldberg, and Evan Okun - "We Made It"
Rape Poem
(Not a complete list of what I've listened to and loved, but the ones I've made sure to save. Why do I never save things when it's late at night?)