Why Can't I Read? | Discussion Post

This might seem like a really strange title to a discussion post, and I guess it kind of is a strange title, but it's how I've been referring to this for weeks. At the beginning, I was just like - whatever, I've been reading non-stop for like a year, I can take a break. And now, over a month later, and fighting my way back to into reading - I'm just kind of... gah. Like an angry, annoyed - gah is how I'm feelings.

You've probably all noticed how I haven't been here. A lack of reading always, for me, leads to a lack of blogging as I feel like I don't have anything to talk about. Which isn't true, I could talk about other things I'm doing, but I just haven't figured out how to integrate more then just books into this blog (though, I think the other stuff section on my weekly wrap ups is probably helping).

And the weirdest thing about this thing is that - I am reading. I have read so much fan fiction that it might actually be a problem now. I'm in a weird space of wanting to do these things and not wanting to get off the computer, or not having the motivation to read, the attention span. Which obviously I have because have I mentioned - so much fan fiction. (Hey, if you need any recs for Steve/Bucky MCU fan fiction - I've got your back, friend).

Anyway - so I haven't been reading books. I've been trying, I've been pushing myself to try. And I have read some. I think I've read three books since this reading slump started - a ton of graphic novels and single issues, but those are so quick - and it might be starting to drive me crazy. Last year I fully realized how much better reading made me feel, it felt like it balanced me out, made me relax more. I'd always used reading as a kind of escape, but it became way more then that last year, so much more important to me.

And I'm glad it did, I'm so glad I fall I've fallen into the whole thing, but it's hard when I'm not reading. And I want to read, I've got books everywhere (no, really, this isn't a lie. If I ever disappear from the internet, I'm buried under a book avalanche). And it's stressful, yeah, but I could be reading if I just - just did it. Just sat down and read.

Now this next part might sound weird, but I'm curious if anyone ever gets like this. So the main reason I stall out on series is because I'm scared to see where that character goes next, like honestly scared. This is actually why I stall out on most things, if I do. I just am scared about what's going to happen next, where they're going next, and just... can't. It's such a weird problem to have, because I want to read, but I don't? But I do? But - feelings. Yeah, that's what it is.

So, friends, now I'm curious, of course. How is your reading going in general? And how is it going in general? Also - am i completely crazy? Do you ever stall out on things because of that? When was the last time you just couldn't read?